Driving Miss Berrie, Act I

I decided that I would spend my birthday this year doing whatever I wanted. I got all my chores done earlier in the week so that on my day, I could go to lunch, paint my toenails, and spend 5 glorious hours wondering if Lizzie and Mr. Darcy would ever get together!

But at about 11:55 on the night before my birthday, I had a thought. It went something like this: "When does my driver's license expire?"
*sigh* Sure enough, this was the year I needed to renew my license, so the next morning, I began the gathering process. All kinds of documents would be required, from a Social Security card to last month's grocery lists, so it took a while. The last thing I needed was my marriage license, so I went to grab it from the place it has resided ever since The Black Belt and I moved in. Or, at least, where it HAD resided, until it moved!! The darn thing inexplicably sat on a bedside table for months, even though no one keeps a marriage license on a bedside table, but at least I knew where it was. So where the heck was it now that I needed it?

After an HOUR of searching every place I could think of, I went back to the bedside table. There was a pile of things under the table, and under the pile was my marriage license. *Whew!* Ok, I had everything, so it was time to go. By then, it was really lunchtime, but I didn't want to stop, because I just wanted to get this errand done.

I got the address to the DMV from their website, and I punched it into my GPS. This building was farther away from my house than any other building I've had to visit since we moved here, so I was anticipating a good 25-minute drive, at least. And that's probably what it would've been, if things had gone smoothly.  But of course, they didn't. My GPS directed me down the freeway, off the exit, and around this little, confusing road with a weird intersection. Then it took me down a long street, then down an alley, and then back to a frontage road. I was whipping past a bunch of run-down houses, when my GPS announced, "Arriving at destination!!"

Um, excuse me? I was going to the DMV, not the ghetto. I was most certainly NOT at my destination! There was nothing to do but look for a place to pull over and think of a new plan. Being in the fantastic neighborhood that I was, the first place that presented itself to me as an option for pulling over was a very scary-looking church with rainbows on the signs. I was pretty sure someone was going to come out and put a hex on me if I lingered too long. (Although, considering my day, it's possible that they did cast a hex from the window.) I tried to call The Black Belt, but he was in class, so I tried to call my mom, and she didn't answer. I was on my own. I decided to try it again, because what else was I going to do?

I got myself turned around, back to the freeway, back off the exit, back through the weird intersection, and on my way down the long street, when The Black Belt called. Hooray! I pulled into a gas station with bars on the windows, and The Black Belt looked up the map to see where I was REALLY supposed to go. With his new directions, I set off. I made a wider loop than my GPS had instructed me to, and eventually found myself approaching a government-looking building. It didn't say DMV, though, so I approached with caution. I pulled warily into the parking lot, trying to figure out if this was the right place, when--I am not kidding--a group of PRISONERS came out the front door!!

PRISONERS!! They came out to the parking lot and stood right in front of the spot I would've pulled into. I did a quick mental check and was unable to recall ever seeing prisoners at the DMV before, so I drove right through the parking lot and back out to the frontage road, much to the satisfaction of my GPS. But...of course...I was wrong again.

The GPS was taking me to the same spot as before, and I realized about 2 seconds after I had left that I had been in the right place after all. I mean, after all, why wouldn't there be prisoners at the DMV on my birthday?? *sigh* I made ANOTHER loop around, drove down the same streets, and eventually got back to the DMV. Don't worry, the prisoners were still hanging out in the parking lot, but there was one cop, standing off to the side, talking on his cell phone, so I felt completely safe walking through the gang of criminals.

To my surprise, there was hardly a soul waiting to be helped, so I marched right up and presented my paperwork to renew my license. She took everything I gave her and asked me for my passport.

*SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* My passport was sitting at home on my desk. I took all my papers back from her, said, "See you in a bit," and drove all the way home to get my passport. Then I drove all the way back. And guess what. I got there on the first try.