This is What I Get

For the past...while...my bathroom has been somewhat in need of what I believe is referred to as "cleaning." I recognized this some time ago, but I just never thought about it at times when I could've done something about it. Finally, two days ago, after having procured the necessary tools for the job, I decided it was time.

I pulled out my new Clorox wipes (is there anything better than Clorox wipes?) and scrubbed the whole counter. The difference was amazing. I scolded myself for taking so long to complete such an easy, yet effective task. When I opened the counter to put the wipes away, I saw another bottle of cleaner--some kind of Arm & Hammer, OxyClean concoction that promised to get rid of hard water and soap scum stains. Now, Clorox wipes are great at making things look better, but they really don't do much for hard water and soap scum. So I figured as long as I was on a roll, I might as well keep rolling.

Just before I started spraying the OxyClean, I thought, "I wonder if this is one of those cleaning supplies you're not supposed to mix with Clorox." I couldn't think of a convenient way of figuring THAT out, so I just sprayed it on. I figured if I created a poisonous gas, I could just back away. And sure enough, I quickly detected a strong, fumey odor, so I retreated to another room for a while. Then I finished cleaning my counter, and the results were beautiful.

Last night, as I was getting ready to leave, I needed a drink, so I grabbed my glass of water from my bathroom counter and took a swig. It tasted kind of funny, but I kept drinking. Again, my thought was something like, "Meh. Oh well." Then my tongue and throat started burning.

It seems there are a couple of important lessons to be learned from this story. First, milk is a base, so if you swallow something acidic, milk is a good dessert. Second, someone else should clean the bathroom.