We Know Pregnant Ladies are Crazy, but Still...

I don't think anyone will argue against the claim that pregnant ladies are crazy. I learned this at my old job, where, at any given time, about a quarter of the staff was pregnant. So...fun.... Not only can pregnant ladies not talk about anything but being pregnant, but they think that everyone wants to HEAR about being pregnant as well! In great detail! If you don't think this is crazy, tell me this--would YOU go around describing the appearance of your, shall we say "personal anatomy," to your entire office?? (If your answer is yes, then please unfriend me on Facebook.)

Ok, so obviously pregnant ladies are nuts, but I don't think it's right that other people take advantage of that. And by "other people," I mean "people who sell baby products." I offer three real-life examples to make my case for me.

First, the Bonnie Marcus Sonogram Picture Frame from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. As you may have guessed from the title, it's a frame for your baby's ultrasound pictures. This one is particularly special because the frame is shaped so that the fetus looks like it's actually inside the lady's belly! Get it? This is definitely a keepsake. You know, since ultrasound pictures are so clear and easy to interpret, and because once the baby's here, you're still going to prefer looking at a black and white, staticky picture of their underdeveloped body to your newborn infant.

My second example is not a product by a specific company but an idea suggested in Babytalk Magazine (given to me by my OB/GYN). They want to help make the experience of finding out the gender of your child extra special, so they recommend having the doctor write it down in a sealed envelope. Then you should take the envelope to a bakery and have them make cupcakes with pink or blue filling, depending on the contents of the envelope. Invite all your friends over and pass out the cupcakes. Then bite into the cakes at the same time to reveal whether it's a boy or girl!

I wonder how many doctors have to practice not rolling their eyes at patients who make requests like this. Is it really more exciting to open an envelope or ...*sigh*....bite into a cupcake...than it is to actually look at your child on the screen? Shouldn't this be something two parents enjoy together privately first?

Finally, the reigning queen of Stupid Stuff Sold to Pregnant Ladies: the Morning Chicness Bag. "These bags are a stylish way to cope with nausea!" Only $8 for 10 bags, so that's not even $1 per bag! And that way, you don't have to run to the privacy of a bathroom and flush your puke down the toilet. You can vomit right there in the living room and then leave the bag out on display, since you can pick whatever style best matches your decor. "A thoughtful, practical, and unique gift!" Indeed...

I'm pretty sure that the product development meetings for these things goes something like this:
Staff Presenter: "...and so that's my idea for our new product."
Practical Coworker: "But, Jimmy, no one in their right mind would ever buy that!"
Manager: "PERFECT."

Infliction of Infertility

Dear Readers,
I'm afraid I may have alarmed you with the title of this post, so let me begin with some happy news. The Black Belt and I are expecting a baby! We are more than halfway through the pregnancy now, and we are very excited.

I wanted to write this post, though, because getting to this point wasn't what I'd call "a walk in the park," and I definitely gained new perspectives on things that I didn't even realize there might be new perspectives on! I don't know if anyone reading this needs this or not, but I felt like sharing might help someone out there in some way.

I won't force too many personal details onto you in this post, but like I said, we had to wait a long time after we decided we wanted to start a family to actually start a family. At first, I didn't think much of it, because we weren't feeling urgent about it, and I knew that these things can take time. But after several months, I couldn't deny that some things were just not right with me, so I went to the doctor. She talked to me about what plan we should take, starting with some medicine, then maybe doing a couple of different tests, and then if need be, consulting a fertility specialist.

This was my first startling experience. "Fertility drugs? Fertility specialist? But those things are just for couples struggling with infertility! We're not one of those couples! That would be way too scary and difficult. We just need help getting me straightened out so we can have a baby.........oh." Suddenly it hit me that no one really goes into life pre-labled "Couple Struggling With Infertility." I used to hear about people having treatments and taking medicines, and I didn't appreciate how unsettling and discouraging it was for them, because to me, of course they were used to it! They're a CSWI! I even remember on occasion hearing people I knew saying they had started taking fertility medicine, and I'd think, "Why? You're not a CSWI." I don't know why I was so naive about this, but I realize now that infertility is a lot more common and a lot more varying than I used to think.

After a few months, our doctor sent us to a fertility specialist, because she felt like she didn't really know what else to do for us. At first, I was resentful, because I felt like she was giving up on us, and again, that I didn't need a fertility specialist because that was too extreme for our situation. But guess what--I LOVED our new doctor. He was so knowledgable, and so at ease with everything that I couldn't help but feel confident under his care. That was a huge blessing, because here's another thing I learned to appreciate about infertility: It takes a toll.

Under this kind of treatment, you lose a little control over your own life. The schedule is very rigid, because if your body decides that today is the day that some measure needs to be taken, you can't delay it to a more convenient time. And thank goodness for a doctor who understood that and always fit me in whenever necessary! It would be awful to be told, "Sorry, we don't have any time today. You'll have to wait till next month." (Because, keep in mind, that at this point, the lack of urgency we'd been feeling was completely gone.) You started watching month after month go by and realize how quickly those months might turn into years. It's a very scary feeling. So, you HAVE to follow the schedule nature sets for you, no matter how inconvenient it is or how exhausted you are from everything you're going through.

The other thing I mean by, "It takes a toll," is that your body goes through a lot. At one time, you might be on several different medicines that are all doing crazy things to your hormones and your energy level and who knows what else. You have to go see the doctor multiple times a month and have ultrasounds and blood tests, over and over and over. All those visits and all of those unpleasant symptoms are very similar to what someone who is expecting a baby goes through--except that when you're doing it for infertility, you don't have a baby to look forward to at the end.

That brings me to what's probably the hardest thing about it all. There's no guarantee that there will ever be a baby at the end of it all. When you start a new round of drugs and have all your tests and everything again, and then you find out at the end of the month that it didn't work, it's not like, at least you made some progress. The result of not being pregnant is exactly the same as if you hadn't done any of that at all--if you hadn't put your body through the craziness and discomfort and hadn't rearranged your schedule and spent all that money and gotten your hopes up again, only to be dashed, again. You can't think, "Well, we're one step closer!" Because you might very well not be. You might go through it again and again and still be disappointed every time.

And that, dear readers, is the hardest part of it all. When you're recovering from illness or serious injury, you can look back and see the strides you've made, and look forward and see how much better you will be in time. But with infertility, you just don't know. And the only remedy that I found for that was faith in the Lord that He has a plan for me and my family and that things would happen in His own time. Now that we're on this end of it, I guess I still don't say, "I'm so glad we went through that!" but I can say, very vehemently, that I am grateful for this baby. I am grateful for the blessing of being able to carry a child, and I am grateful for the trust God is putting in us to send us one of His children.

I've heard so many ladies speak casually about, "Maybe after the school year I'll have another baby," or, "I hated being pregnant! I got so fat!" and I just want to say, "Please, please be grateful." Dear readers who are parents, please be grateful for your children. To any expectant mothers, please be grateful for those aches and pains that mean your baby is growing. To any couples dreaming and hoping for parenthood, use this time to enjoy each other. Enjoy being a family of two. And remember that God knows you and loves you and will never leave you alone.

That Time I Acted Like a Presidential Candidate

I watched the first presidential debate this week. (I know, right? Good for me!) I'm a proud Mitt Romney supporter, and I was delighted by how well he did. I loved his answer for how he views the role of government in America. Good job, Mitt!

I do think it's amusing, though, to note the tactics all debaters use to make sure they get to say what they want to say. When I saw either candidate employ any such techniques (and they both did), I had to laugh. Since I seem to rarely miss opportunities to criticize, you'd think I'd seize this one instead of laugh. But I had a memory of a night long ago in graduate school, and I realized that presidential candidates aren't the only ones who can do it!

Moral Responsibility, in 16 oz or Less

Recently New York City passed a rule that bans restaurants from selling sugary drinks in large containers. There have been some surprisingly strong reactions supporting and opposing the ban. Those in support say that we are facing a health crisis with more and more people (including, and most alarmingly, children) developing obesity and diabetes, so this effort to limit a major contributor to those conditions is much needed. Opponents say, “It's sad that the board wants to limit our choices” (Liz Berman, a business owner and chairwoman of New Yorkers for Beverage Choices).

I will admit that when the story first flashed through my brain, I had similar thoughts as Ms. Berman, or at least, I thought it was weird to regulate something like soda. However…what the supporters of this rule say is true. I can't argue with the fact that soda is full of sugar and empty calories, both of which can and do wreak havoc on our health. So the real question is, should the government be responsible for controlling our intake? Ms. Berman’s answer to that is, “We are smart enough to make our own decisions about what to eat and drink.”

At first I didn’t care so much about this issue. I don’t like soda much anyway. But now that I’ve read that claim—that we are smart enough to make our own decisions—NOW I care.

Maturity Ever Faileth

As preposterous at it seems, in some ways, I am technically what they call "a grown-up." I don't see how, really, after being the youngest at everything my whole life. But now that children I used to babysit are married and have their own children, I'm starting to have that sinking feeling that it's true.

Monologuing

Recently, I looked down and discovered an ant crawling across my foot. Here's what I did not do:

I did not laugh meniacally and tell it I had been wondering when it would show up.
I did not tell it what kind of security I had set up and warn it that attempting to escape was futile.
I did not describe exactly how I was going to bring about its demise.
I did not describe how much I would enjoy bringing about its demise.
I did not list the grievances I had against it.
I did not list grievances I had against others that had nothing to do with it but still made me mad.

Instead, I just killed it.

The Inevitable End

Maybe it's just my perception, but it seems like there aren't a lot of single volume stories written these days. All of the popular books that I can think of right now come in series: Harry Potter, The Hunger Games,...that one with the vampires, which we did not read but is an example of a book series... And every time we get involved with one, it takes over our lives. For example, when The Black Belt and I finally gave in to peer pressure and read the Fablehaven series, we ended up practically withdrawing from society in our zeal to reach the conclusion. As soon as he got home from work, we'd pick up where we'd left off the night before until dinner so rudely interrupted by being ready to be eaten, and then we'd read more before bed, where I'd fuss at The Black Belt for going to sleep before we found out what happened next. I kept the whole series on reserve at the library so that as soon as we finished one book, we could move onto the next, making my trips to the library a multi-weekly occurrence. We just didn't want to stop.

But the problem with reading at such a breakneck speed is that before you know it, you're done. The suspense is over, you know what happens, and then you don't have anything else to read. I HATE that.