Pictures in Magazines Do Not Represent Reality

We've all heard that we shouldn't look at pictures in magazines and then feel bad about ourselves by comparison, because those pictures were taken with professional cameras and lighting and Photoshopped to look perfect. I can usually believe that, but sometimes it's hard not to do.

For example, a few weeks ago, I was browsing through a Martha Stewart magazine and saw a picture similar to this one:

Cute, right? I thought, "Oh, what a good idea! I could make those for my student employees!" What a lovely, optimistic idea I had...

The first step was to acquire the materials. I had all the edible ones already, so I just needed the cone-shaped cellophane bags (because the directions directed me to use cone-shaped cellophane bags, see?). I decided Michael's would be the best place to look, because Michael's has everything crafty! So, off to Michael's I went, blissfully imagining myself sitting down at my cute little craft table with my cute little cone-shaped cellophane bags and my cute little hot chocolate supplies, smiling and singing a sweet melody while I made these cute little Christmas gifts.

That day was extremely cold and icy and not the kind of day you'd consider ideal for a trip to Michael's. But I had my little craft fantasy in my head, serving as a talisman against the snow. I arrived at Michael's and found 1.7 billion people already there. And two store employees.

I realized then that I didn't know where to go to find what I needed, because I didn't see any signs that said, "Cone-shaped cellophane bags." I wandered around for quite a while, until at last I found myself in an aisle that had....cellophane bags! I was there! Oh, joy and triumph! I scanned the selection, looking for a cone-shape. There were none. They had regular, lunch-sack-sized cellophane bags, "shaped" bags that were not cone-shaped, and "pretzel bags." Pretzel bags?? What the heck is a pretzel bag? Why is there even such a thing as a pretzel bag? Why not "roast beef bag" or "kitchen floor cleaner bag"? Or why not CONE-SHAPED BAG?

Argh. I could do nothing else in that aisle, so I resumed my wandering, thinking that if they were not in the cellophane bag aisle, there must be an aisle of cone-shaped things in which I would find them. I didn't have much hope, however, and my frustration grew with each person that shoved into me in the aisles. But then I saw them--the two store employees! I hurdled across a few small children and probably elbowed an elderly couple out of the way, but I reached the staff members and said, "Do you have any cone-shaped cellophane bags?"

These employees-of-the-year blinked at me, chewed their gum a few more times and said, "No." *Despair!* I regrouped quickly and said, "Ok...do you have cellophane?" Their answer: "Yes." I blinked at them. They blinked back. So I said, "Ok...where?" They pointed to a corner of the store, and there I found rolls of cellophane, where I decided that is definitely not what I needed.

So, what else was there to do? I bought the pretzel bags.

As a result, my hot chocolate cones turned out to be hot chocolate pretzel-bag-shaped bags, but my roommate and I produced enough giggles during the construction process to make them work well enough anyway. They look nothing like the magazine picture, but as we all know, pictures in magazines do not represent reality.