Words That Are Not Words That People Think Are Words

I have several spelling/writing pet peeves, such as the use of superfluous apostrophes, or writing "your" when it should be "you're." But I also have a few talking pet peeves. I've noticed a growing trend of people using words that are not really words. I think this needs to be stopped. Therefore, please know that by reading the remainder of this blog entry, you are entering into a contractual agreement never to use any of these "words" denoted below. (Please also note that since these are not actual words, the spellings used approximate the pronunciation.)

1.) heighth
It is true that letters in words can be silent, but they are not invisible. There is no "H" hiding at the end of this word. Some of you may contest that "heighth" is a non-standard spelling, but it is so because so many people erroneously pronounce it that way, that dictionaries include it. But just as the villagers who insisted the emperor had a fabulous new wardrobe still really saw a naked dude parading down the street, a whole bunch of people saying a word incorrectly doesn't mean it's a word.

2.) nother
You may see that and think, "I've never heard anyone say that." But trust me; you have. This fake word is most often heard as part of the phrase "a whole nother," as in, "Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Jones really enjoyed their tour of the meat-packing plant. Their little dog Fluffy, however? That's a whole nother story." SEE? You know you've said it!! We all say it! But we don't write it. And why don't we write it? Because it's not a word.

3.) acrosst
Now we've come to it. This is the big daddy of fake words. The "acrosst" epidemic is spreading like wildfire, and it has to be stopped. If I try really hard (which I'm not usually willing to do), I can kind of see why someone might say "heighth." There are H's everywhere in that word, and it's common for H to follow T in words, so why not believe there's one on the end? But there is no T anywhere in the word "across." Why are people inventing one? Don't invent one. Just say "across." It will be okay.