The Happiest Place on Earth

After a long day of driving on Thursday, the only thing that could've dragged us out of our beds at 6:30 in the morning on Friday was the excitement of going to Disneyland--and that's exactly what happened! There was more awkwardness as we all tried to get ready without invading each other's privacy (or having our own privacy invaded). We loaded up our backpacks with snacks and sandwiches and were off pretty much on schedule.

I need to make an aside here and explain that I went to Disneyland two years ago with a friend who worked FOR Disneyland, and he was an expert on the fast pass system and minimizing wait time at the park. I took very careful notes of everything he taught me, and I was determined to implement it all on this trip. It started with getting to the park right when it opened. As he said, "You'll do more in the first two hours than you'll be able to do all day." We got to the park without any problems (except for paying $11 for parking!), and got onto a tram right away. As we boarded, BJ immediately banged his head on the ceiling, so hey--off to a great start. We were a little nervous that they'd have a problem with us bringing sandwiches and snacks into the park, but my lady looked in my bag and said, "Cheerios. Good choice!" I thought about saying, "Actually, they're Quaker Oh's," but my good sense told me, "You're through. Just go." No one else had any problems.

As soon as we were in, I led them to the Indiana Jones Adventure so we could all get fast passes for it and then continued to the first ride of the day--Pirates of the Caribbean. It's one of my favorite rides; it's a classic; and it doesn't have fast passes--all good reasons to start there. Part of the excitement of this trip was that BJ had never been to Disneyland, so we were all looking forward to seeing him go on the rides for the first time. Unfortunately, I think that made him a little self-conscious, so it wasn't quite as fun as we'd hoped. But, Pirates is always great, and I still love the addition of Captain Jack Sparrow. I believe we did Haunted Mansion next, since it's right there, and it's another classic. As soon as that was over, we went back and road Indiana Jones. That is a fantastic ride. It might be my new favorite. We got fast passes for it again because we were sure we'd want to come back. After that, we went right next door to Jungle Cruise. Betty Lemon was especially excited about it. I think it's a fun ride to do once, but if you get a lame tour guide, it's awful. Our guy was great, though, so it was about as fun as it could be. And there's never a long line for it. The next stop was Big Thunder, and we'd had such good momentum that I almost went right in with my group. However, I chickened out at the last second and sent them on without me.

Another aside: I hate roller coasters. I do not think they are fun at all. I've ridden Big Thunder before, and I didn't die, but I didn't enjoy it. So, I figured, why go through that again? Resume story.

The wait time for Big Thunder was only FIVE MINUTES, so they rode it twice. Betty Lemon was concerned about leaving me there even longer, but I said, "It's a five-minute wait. This will never happen again. Go now." While I sat there, I saw Woody, Jessie, and Goofy walk by. There was also a grandmother with her daughter and granddaughter discussing who was going to take the little girl on Big Thunder Mountain. The little girl was whining and crying, and the grandmother said, "I can keep her here with me if you want," and the mom said, "No, it's okay. I'll take her." I thought, "This poor little girl is obviously terrified, and her mom is MAKING her go on the scary ride! How awful!" She continued to whine, and then her mom said, "Sweetie, I promise, we'll go on Splash Mountain right after this." I felt dumb. For many reasons.

Here's the part where I forget the sequence of events for the day, so I'll just try not to skip anything. Duchess and Betty Lemon rode Splash Mountain while BJ and I tried to take pictures of them coming off the drop. It took forever, and neither of us got a good picture, but the girls had fun. I also got a voicemail from Duchess that sounded something like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!SOMETHINGABOUTSCARYRIDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
Over in Fantasyland, I recommended to Duchess that we not start with Alice in Wonderland, because I figured that would turn BJ off from the entire rest of the park. So, instead, we went on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Snow White's Scary Adventure, and Pinocchio's Whatever It's Called. Pinocchio and Snow White are just freaky. Have you BEEN on those rides? I'd be terrified if I were a kid. Mr. Toad is great, though. I was excited to see BJ's reaction to the end when you wind up in Hell (Has anyone seen the movie? Why do we end up in Hell?). However, they had the heat and humidity cranked up WAY higher than I've ever experienced, so the second it hit us, we were like, "Getusoutofhere." We also rode Peter Pan--my favorite. I love that ride, and I hate that the line's always so long. We only got to ride it once, much to my disappointment.

In Tomorrowland, we rode Star Tours, which, until this trip, has been my favorite ride. I still like it, but Indiana Jones was just so great! There wasn't a lot of enthusiasm from BJ and Duchess on that one, so Betty Lemon and I came back later and rode it again. That time, we sat in the back and screamed our heads off. We also rode Buzz Lightyear, which I simultaneously enjoy AND suck at. I rode with Duchess, who scored 75,000-something points, beating the pants off my measly 8,800. I was way embarassed and turned to Betty Lemon and BJ to lament, and Betty Lemon said, "Ok, I did waaaaaaay worse than you." BJ was not hesitant to tell me that HE had scored 96,000. When I asked him how guys are so good at that ride, he said, "Duck Hunt." The other three went on The Matterhorn and Space Mountain without me, so I sat and rested. This may sound boring, but I was quite tired by then and not sad to have a break. And I ate my sandwich. When we met up again, the others were ready for a break, and I was happy to give them one.

We spent quite a bit of time trying to decide where to eat dinner. We restricted our choices to only places in near vicinity, so we didn't have to walk across the park again. We looked at a bunch of places, then walked across the park, and then came back to those places. So our plan didn't work very well. But we ended up at the Stage Door Cafe and feasted on chicken strips, mozzerella sticks, and fish and chips. While we ate, *someone* made a comment about how much I was talking and how little I was eating, so I hung my head in shame and didn't talk for the rest of the meal.

We decided early on that Friday night would be the night we watched the fireworks and Fantasmic! It took a while to figure out where to best sit for the fireworks, because we needed to be in a good position to book it over to Fantasmic! as soon as they ended. (This is one of the things I learned from my friend two years ago, and I said it so many times before the trip that I was mocked repeatedly for it.) We found a good spot and made ourselves comfortable. Then a cast member came over and told us that if we stayed there, we'd probably get trampled, so I scouted a new spot, and we relocated. It was right by the water fountain, which inspired much giggling from BJ and Betty Lemon. In our new spot, I planned our route to Fantasmic! through Adventureland. Then another cast member came over and told us we couldn't go through Adventureland to get to Fantasmic! We had to go through Frontierland. Then she said, "So, after the fireworks, where are you going to go?" Thinking that everyone was going to respond together, Betty Lemon loudly announced, "FRONTIERLAND."

Unfortunately, she was the ONLY one who answered, and her voice rang out for all to hear. This incident inspired more laughter than probably everything else combined on our trip. All anyone had to do was say, "Frontierland!" and I lost it. Still do, in fact.

The fireworks were fantastic, as I remembered. Per my instructions, as soon as they were over, we all stood up, joined hands, and booked it over to Fantasmic! (Through where? Frontierland!) Duchess, again, per my instruction, led the group right to a great spot on the bridge. (It was great except for the fact that I was behind a tree.) We got there in plenty of time, so BJ and I left the other two to hold our spots so we could go ride Pirates again. The idea was that the girls would have a turn after us, but that didn't happen. Sorry, girls. Fantasmic! was great. They do really amazing things with it, and maybe I'm really a kid at heart, but I love seeing Mickey and all the others up there. And Maleficent is my favorite villain, so I love it.

I was exhausted by the end of the day. Driving back home, we encountered a train. Rather than wait for it to pass, BJ decided to go around it. The problem was that none of us knew how to get around it, so we had to keep turning around looking for a road to go down. We thought we'd found one and headed down it at breakneck speed until we suddenly saw about 10 feet in front of us a sign that said, "ROAD CLOSED." Don't ask me to elaborate, but let's just say it was very clear that BJ was frustrated by then. Duchess, on the other hand, was cracking up in the back seat. We made it home shortly after that and went to bed immediately.