An Unfortunate Incident in a Bozeman Bathroom

When our plane landed in Bozeman, Montana, the first thing I noticed upon entering the airport was how very quaint it was. There are five gates in the entire airport, and it's decorated with stuffed animals (like bears and geese, not like Pound Puppies). So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into the bathroom and saw that everything in it was as high-tech as possible--automatic sinks and soap dispensers, automatic paper towel dispensers, automatic toilets, AND...automatic toilet seat covers.

I was very, very excited about this, because I am relentless about covering toilet seats in public restrooms. And here was one that did it for me! So I took care of business and then waited to see this amazing toilet perform its automatic flush and rotating of the toilet seat cover.

Only problem was....it only performed one of two expected tricks. It flushed just fine. But the toilet seat cover just sat there. It was then that I decided maybe reading the directions was a good idea and learned that I had to push the big red button BEFORE I used the facility to get a new fresh cover; it didn't just get a new cover everytime the toilet flushed.

Do you REALIZE what this MEANS?? I USED SOMEONE ELSE'S TOILET SEAT COVER.

I just don't even know what to say about this, friends. I was horrified beyond words. But, at least once I figured out how to work it, it was cool to see the thing rotate...